October 3, 2015 Jameela 8Comment

As many of you know, small children see the world much differently. It is fascinating and amusing. Sometimes these small children say the most absurd things! I felt like I should document the ridiculous things my toddler says, so that in a few years I can look back and laugh (at her?).

I’ll provide back story on some of her “quotes” so you can also be in on the joke.

Circa 2016

My Daughter: Mommy, do you like Fried Rice?

Me: No

My Daughter: That means you don’t like God!

Me: uuuum okay….

I suppose she thinks that God is the one who made the Fried Rice….

Circa 2015

Backstory: My daughter, after finding out I was pregnant, asked the following

“Mommy, how will you eat if the baby is in your tummy?”

Good question… Let’s talk about basic female anatomy.

Scene: My husband, daughter and I were getting ready in the morning.

My Daughter: “I’m pretty and mommy’s pretty.”

Me: “Is daddy pretty?”

My Daughter: “NO! Daddy is BIG”

Sorry daddy.

Scene: We are all eating burgers for dinner

My Daughter: “Mommy, do you like dogs?”

Me: “I think they are okay.”

My Daughter: “Do you like cows?”

Me: “Only to eat”

My Daughter: “Hey! cows not food!”

aaaaaah if only she knew…

Scene: Us. Everyday. In the car.

My Daughter: “I only like girl songs!”

I spend my whole car ride finding songs sung by women. Then I settle on classical music.

My Daughter: “When I’m all done being a girl I will turn into a boy!”

Me: 😐


Me: “You won’t watch on the ipad if you don’t clean up your toys”

My daughter: “YES, I will!”

Me: 😐

Scene: Us at lunch time

Me: “If you don’t eat you won’t grow.”

My daughter: “I don’t see myself growing!”

*sigh* How do I explain this one?


Me: Why are you eating popcorn in the box?

My daughter: “Because I like to”

I can accept that.

eating popcorn in a box

Scene: My mother took my car to drive my daughter to an activity.

My Daughter: “Grammy, why we not driving your car?”

My Mom: “Because Uncle took Grammy’s Van”

My Daughter: “Where is the other car?”

My Mom: “The Sante Fe (the model of our broken car) is broken.”

My Daughter: “Santa doesn’t ride in a flay!”



Scene: My daughter loves homemade bread. My husband made some (I’ll post the recipe soon).

My Daughter: “I didn’t know daddy could make bread all by himself”

My Mom: “Daddy is very smart”

My Daughter: “He’s smart like me?”

Scene: Me at about 6 months pregnant

My Daughter: “Mommy, when is the baby coming?”

Me: “At the end of November.”

My Daughter: ” I want the baby to come out right now!”

Enjoy the only child life while you can!

Scene: Us playing make-believe

My Daughter: “I’m baby Hulk and you are mommy Hulk.”

A few minutes later…

My Daughter: “Okay, now I’m baby Jesus and you are Mommy Jesus.”

Scene: My husband and I discussing a business conference we are attending while my daughter plays beside us.

Me: “I wonder if they will feed us there…”
My Daughter: “HEY! You are a big boy and you are a big girl. No one needs to feed you!”

Scene: My mom brings my daughter inside the house.

My Mom: “There! Safely delivered”
My Daughter: “I’m not a mail!”

Scene: My cousin and I talking about rollerskating

My daughter: I like rollerskating
Me: How do you even know if you like rollerskating? You have never been rolerskating. You don’t even know HOW to rollerskate.
My daughter: Yes I do! Skate, Skate Roll.

Looool! That is sound logic.

I’m sure you can think of a couple of weird things that have come out of your child’s mouth. Feel free to share them with me on facebook, instagram, or twitter!