As many of you know, small children see the world much differently. It is fascinating and amusing. Sometimes these small children say the most absurd things! I felt like I should document the ridiculous things my toddler says, so that in a few years I can look back and laugh (at her?).
I’ll provide back story on some of her “quotes” so you can also be in on the joke.
My Daughter: Mommy, do you like Fried Rice?
My Daughter: That means you don’t like God!
Me: uuuum okay….
I suppose she thinks that God is the one who made the Fried Rice….
Backstory: My daughter, after finding out I was pregnant, asked the following
“Mommy, how will you eat if the baby is in your tummy?”
Good question… Let’s talk about basic female anatomy.
Scene: My husband, daughter and I were getting ready in the morning.
My Daughter: “I’m pretty and mommy’s pretty.”
Me: “Is daddy pretty?”
My Daughter: “NO! Daddy is BIG”
Scene: We are all eating burgers for dinner
My Daughter: “Mommy, do you like dogs?”
Me: “I think they are okay.”
My Daughter: “Do you like cows?”
Me: “Only to eat”
My Daughter: “Hey! cows not food!”
aaaaaah if only she knew…
Scene: Us. Everyday. In the car.
My Daughter: “I only like girl songs!”
I spend my whole car ride finding songs sung by women. Then I settle on classical music.
My Daughter: “When I’m all done being a girl I will turn into a boy!”
Me: “You won’t watch on the ipad if you don’t clean up your toys”
My daughter: “YES, I will!”
Scene: Us at lunch time
Me: “If you don’t eat you won’t grow.”
My daughter: “I don’t see myself growing!”
*sigh* How do I explain this one?
Me: Why are you eating popcorn in the box?
My daughter: “Because I like to”
I can accept that.
Scene: My mother took my car to drive my daughter to an activity.
My Daughter: “Grammy, why we not driving your car?”
My Mom: “Because Uncle took Grammy’s Van”
My Daughter: “Where is the other car?”
My Mom: “The Sante Fe (the model of our broken car) is broken.”
My Daughter: “Santa doesn’t ride in a flay!”
Scene: My daughter loves homemade bread. My husband made some (I’ll post the recipe soon).
My Daughter: “I didn’t know daddy could make bread all by himself”
My Mom: “Daddy is very smart”
My Daughter: “He’s smart like me?”
Scene: Me at about 6 months pregnant
My Daughter: “Mommy, when is the baby coming?”
Me: “At the end of November.”
My Daughter: ” I want the baby to come out right now!”
Enjoy the only child life while you can!
Scene: Us playing make-believe
My Daughter: “I’m baby Hulk and you are mommy Hulk.”
A few minutes later…
My Daughter: “Okay, now I’m baby Jesus and you are Mommy Jesus.”
Scene: My husband and I discussing a business conference we are attending while my daughter plays beside us.
Me: “I wonder if they will feed us there…”
My Daughter: “HEY! You are a big boy and you are a big girl. No one needs to feed you!”
Scene: My mom brings my daughter inside the house.
My Mom: “There! Safely delivered”
My Daughter: “I’m not a mail!”
Scene: My cousin and I talking about rollerskating
My daughter: I like rollerskating
Me: How do you even know if you like rollerskating? You have never been rolerskating. You don’t even know HOW to rollerskate.
My daughter: Yes I do! Skate, Skate Roll.
Looool! That is sound logic.