October 3, 2015 Jameela 8Comment
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As many of you know, small children see the world much differently. It is fascinating and amusing. Sometimes these small children say the most absurd things! I felt like I should document the ridiculous things my toddler says, so that in a few years I can look back and laugh (at her?).

I’ll provide back story on some of her “quotes” so you can also be in on the joke.

Circa 2016

My Daughter: Mommy, do you like Fried Rice?

Me: No

My Daughter: That means you don’t like God!

Me: uuuum okay….

I suppose she thinks that God is the one who made the Fried Rice….

Circa 2015

Backstory: My daughter, after finding out I was pregnant, asked the following

“Mommy, how will you eat if the baby is in your tummy?”

Good question… Let’s talk about basic female anatomy.


Scene: My husband, daughter and I were getting ready in the morning.

My Daughter: “I’m pretty and mommy’s pretty.”

Me: “Is daddy pretty?”

My Daughter: “NO! Daddy is BIG”

Sorry daddy.


Scene: We are all eating burgers for dinner

My Daughter: “Mommy, do you like dogs?”

Me: “I think they are okay.”

My Daughter: “Do you like cows?”

Me: “Only to eat”

My Daughter: “Hey! cows not food!”

aaaaaah if only she knew…


Scene: Us. Everyday. In the car.

My Daughter: “I only like girl songs!”

I spend my whole car ride finding songs sung by women. Then I settle on classical music.


My Daughter: “When I’m all done being a girl I will turn into a boy!”

Me: 😐

smiles


Me: “You won’t watch on the ipad if you don’t clean up your toys”

My daughter: “YES, I will!”

Me: 😐


Scene: Us at lunch time

Me: “If you don’t eat you won’t grow.”

My daughter: “I don’t see myself growing!”

*sigh* How do I explain this one?


 

Me: Why are you eating popcorn in the box?

My daughter: “Because I like to”

I can accept that.

eating popcorn in a box


Scene: My mother took my car to drive my daughter to an activity.

My Daughter: “Grammy, why we not driving your car?”

My Mom: “Because Uncle took Grammy’s Van”

My Daughter: “Where is the other car?”

My Mom: “The Sante Fe (the model of our broken car) is broken.”

My Daughter: “Santa doesn’t ride in a flay!”

looooool!


 

Scene: My daughter loves homemade bread. My husband made some (I’ll post the recipe soon).

My Daughter: “I didn’t know daddy could make bread all by himself”

My Mom: “Daddy is very smart”

My Daughter: “He’s smart like me?”


Scene: Me at about 6 months pregnant

My Daughter: “Mommy, when is the baby coming?”

Me: “At the end of November.”

My Daughter: ” I want the baby to come out right now!”

Enjoy the only child life while you can!


Scene: Us playing make-believe

My Daughter: “I’m baby Hulk and you are mommy Hulk.”

A few minutes later…

My Daughter: “Okay, now I’m baby Jesus and you are Mommy Jesus.”


Scene: My husband and I discussing a business conference we are attending while my daughter plays beside us.

Me: “I wonder if they will feed us there…”
My Daughter: “HEY! You are a big boy and you are a big girl. No one needs to feed you!”


Scene: My mom brings my daughter inside the house.

My Mom: “There! Safely delivered”
My Daughter: “I’m not a mail!”


Scene: My cousin and I talking about rollerskating

My daughter: I like rollerskating
Me: How do you even know if you like rollerskating? You have never been rolerskating. You don’t even know HOW to rollerskate.
My daughter: Yes I do! Skate, Skate Roll.

Looool! That is sound logic.

I’m sure you can think of a couple of weird things that have come out of your child’s mouth. Feel free to share them with me on facebook, instagram, or twitter!